Hanging up your dance shoes
It’s the end of the school year. It’s time for recitals. Not only is it a celebration of all we’ve learned in the past year, it’s also a time to re-evaluate. My kids are talking about what classes they want to take next year, trying to decide which ones they want to take while I hope we can spend fewer nights driving to the studio.
It’s also a time when we evaluate if we like where we’re headed. This is the time when most people change dance studios if they decide their current one isn’t working anymore.
But even bigger than that, it’s also the time when we evaluate if it’s time to take a break from dance entirely.
One of the hardest decisions I made in my life was when I was almost 15.
It was then that I realized that my ballet, clarinet, and honors classes were all hurting because I didn’t have enough time to focus on all of them.
I knew I had to choose something to drop, and ballet was the only choice that made sense. I could get a music degree if I wanted (which I did end up doing), but I was going to be too tall to make it as a dancer (I knew I didn’t have it in me to shoot for prima ballerina). It was a long drive many times a week, and I knew dancing was the hardest financially on my parents.
So I hung up my pointe shoes. It was so hard to do. Ballet was my life! It’s the reason I chose to take French as my foreign language (now that I live in a very Hispanic area I’m wishing I’d chosen Spanish, but that has nothing to do with the story).
I honestly don’t remember if I had any hopes of returning to dance one day. I danced here and there during the next many years, being a part of the church Christmas presentation in college and little things like that.
I taught ballet for a semester at the school where I was teaching music in Istanbul. It was a wonderful experience and it rekindled my love for the grace and precision of the dance form. I remember a panicked email to my ballet teacher: “How do you teach pas de bourre?” It was so ingrained in me that I didn’t know how to go about explaining it to my class full of eager dancers.
I came back to the States and took a ballet class at the same studio I’d grown up at. It was a level harder than my sister or I had gotten to before so it was a stretch, but we loved it.
When I put my daughters in ballet class, I had no intention of getting back into it myself. I loved it, and hearing the music made my heart leap, but it wasn’t the right time. Nor was it the right time last year, when I decided to give tap a try.
But this year, I took a chance and tried ballet. And I’ve loved it. It’s been a challenge (my body does NOT always think I can do the things that my muscle memory wants to do again), but it’s been completely worth it.
Why am I telling you the story? Because I know how it feels to stop. I know how painful it is to make that weighty of a decision.
But I also know that it doesn’t have to mean forever.
Maybe you’re at a fork in the road. Trying to decide between studios…or particular classes…or maybe you’re wondering if it’s time to take a break from dance.
As much as I truly believe we are Always A Dancer, I also recognize that it doesn’t mean we’re taking classes every week of our lives. There are seasons for everything, and if you feel like this is a season to focus on something else, I want to reassure you that it’s okay.
