My parents witnessed a traumatic church split when I was a baby (half the congregation walked out mid-service).

After that, my dad paid a lot more attention to the Spirit and left situations before they got to that point.

I have done the same, recognizing that the church I was going to was no longer the same place I started at. 

For someone who is fiercely loyal, I’m grateful that I’ve learned from my parents and left when the church was no longer where we belonged. 


But how do I know it’s time to go? How can I discern between frustrations to fight through and problems that are roadblocks?


Here is what I feel about my current church, and how I feel people should feel about the church where they choose to put down roots.


  • I feel connected (I know I need to do my part, but in past churches that still didn’t guarantee I felt that connection)
  • I agree with the direction my church is going.
  • The way the church interprets the scriptures resonates with me.
  • Thinking about church fills my heart with joy.
  • The leadership is strong but not unbending. (I don’t want to feel like the pastor is bowing to the whims of society, but there is a scary control that some pastors can obtain)
  • The church values faith over fear. The pandemic has made this abundantly clear.

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